I’m going to be a father

Yep, that’s right, I’m having a child. We’re almost 17 weeks into this and it is crazy to even try to rationalize this news against the person that I’ve always been in the past.

In many ways, I still feel like I’m a child myself, even though I’m very clearly not. Being able to fool myself with this line of logic though, has been sort of a mental get out of jail card when I was looking to make excuses to be lazy or to just not make important things a focus. I have a feeling though, that this part of my life needs to be sunsetted.

If I’m really honest with myself, though I have trouble expressing it, I am truly excited about this. The fact that I’ll be able to discover who this person will be is fascinating to me. At the same time, still being a bit of a child myself, it seems nice that in the not so distant future that I’ll have a very valid reason to start playing with toys again. I’m especially excited about Legos.

Please, oh please, like Legos.

I’m not sure who they will be yet. We find out the sex in just a few weeks, so I’m super excited for that. However, I’m committed to the fact that I need to come into this new relationship without any preconceived notions of who they will be. As much as I may hope for certain aspects of who their personality might be, I’m most excited for the pieces of their personality that will ultimately surprise me.

Sure, I hope they enjoy games as much as I do. I wish that they will be imaginative and that they’re able to hold on to that imagination for as long as possible. I hope that they love stories and love to read. I hope they love to create, I’m not sure I even care what, so long as they love to take a piece of themselves and see it expressed in the world. However, I promise not to be disappointed if one or more of these isn’t true.

Whoever you might be, I just hope for one simple thing, that you be happy. And I hope that I can play a role in making that true.

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